By Eve Bell

I am a fan of motivational quotes. Little words of wisdom are dotted around my house and my office, they are my little cheerleaders.

There is one that always stuck with me.

“You are only confined by the walls you build yourself”

This has always signified the mental walls I build to keep my comfort zone firmly protected. I’ve been really good recently at knocking these down and making my comfort zone bigger. Like this blog for instance.

But by pushing myself, I have found myself confined by other walls I have built myself.

My lovely little family.

I feel guilty even writing that.

Last Sunday I flipped. On the sly and the children didn’t see thankfully, I got out of the house for a short while. The number one thing that pushes my buttons is technology. I am not a technophobe by any means but helping my son with his Go Pro yesterday, sent me under. A simple task took me 3 hours. He is keen to blog and I am happy to help him. But just not at 9am on a Sunday. My precious slow Sunday morning.

Everything just boiled to the surface last Sunday. I am tired of putting my hobbies, my business on hold and of me having to fit around everyone else’s. I never get to finish anything. That’s if I even managed to start it.

What I eat and what time I eat it revolves around everyone else in the family. Unless I want to make several different teas.

I feel most motivated in the morning and on weekends. The times when I get to do what I want the least. And the frustration is really bubbling.

Yet, I chose to be a stay at home mum. I chose to start a business. So I should just suck it up surely?

What I didn’t know then, is how much passion I would have for what I do.

So when I am in the middle of a blog post or a conversation online with someone and I have to stop because it is time to go to get the kids. Or take them to football or gymnastics. Or fix an X-Box. It grates.

 

I wrote this blog last Sunday. I made a decision to declare Sunday mornings as mine, as and when I can. This Sunday morning has been perfect. Tea, books, fairy lights and it is snowing outside.

I am ten years into being the family’s centre of gravity. A beautiful concept. One I love 364 days of the year. But on that one day, it is a sharp reminder that I need to put myself on the top of the pile more.

To break down the walls that I feel confined within.